“And now these remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Cor: 4
Reading the hand written words on the letters he writes and typing them is an interesting process. I feel I’ve been tasked with an important and meaningful job here but that it is also quite difficult and emotional at times. So please forgive me if my words seem off or wrong, or if it seems like I don’t write enough. Because behind every Sean post is me, typing away after a full day at work, and going to the gym, between bites of dinner and incoming texts about various distracting things.
I’ve been writing with Sean going on about 8 years or so now give or take and I am just starting to understand the full impact of the situation. How the trial went, what went so very wrong there, and the inner most thoughts of a man wrongly accused growing up from a teenager to an adult inside the correctional system. It’s heavy. The gravity of the situation, reading those words is unlike anything I can describe. Very often I can’t seem to find the words.
I find it horrific and tragic that we as humans are capable of doing to others what has been done to Sean, and surely countless others that have yet to be proven innocent. In my opinion being able to destroy some young person’s life and any chance they may have at one without DNA evidence, or concrete proof without a doubt is despicable. Without significant evidence to prove beyond all reasonable doubt that someone is guilty, how can anyone have the right to remove permanently any juvenile from society? Reading and learning about this case has made me question everything I thought was right: the judicial system, law enforcement, even what the purpose of this whole ordeal was to Sean, what it means to be his friend, let alone in this relationship with him.
I definitely wouldn’t have chosen to be in this boat if I thought for a second that he deserved to be where he is. If I didn’t believe in my heart and mind that he is innocent and will be in fact coming home where he deserves to be then I wouldn’t be here writing this blog about him and about us. Despite what some people think, being in this relationship is far from easy. At times is is so difficult that I wake up wondering if I am doing the right thing. Without God, without signs from God, without the amazing communication we have together it would surely be impossible.
This is how I get through: I don’t know what is going to happen. I don’t know what life is going to look like a month or a year from now. But I don’t need to. The future is made up of a lot of nows. Now is what Sean and I have together. Now is the most important thing to us, now is everything.