Written by Emelia
I see intricately beautiful butterfly wings taped to the inside of a card. I’m ripping the metal buttons off my capri-length shorts in preparation for visit next weekend. This will help allow me top pass through the metal detector more quickly. I just want to get in there and see that beaming smile. I don’t have any buttons to replace these ones….yet. Add it to the mile long list of to-dos that only might actually get done.
The phone finally rings and it’s Sean. After 3 days of not getting to talk to him. I feel a shift inside of me. The minute I hear his voice everything inside me slips.
He says “I’ve been locked in my cell all weekend. I can handle being locked in my cell all day as long as they let me out to call you. But they wouldn’t let us use the phones ”
The pain in his voice rips me open. Hearing the man I love the most in this world say those words shatters me. Everything I was holding inside, all the pieces that hurt but I continue to carry without stumbling now spill out with my tears. How can they keep such a beautiful soul locked inside a cement box for something he didn’t have anything to do with? How can they take such a young and talented person full of life and love and rip away 12 years of his life? To know that he was spending his entire weekend desperately wishing that he could talk to me and trapped inside a tiny cell with his cell mate (a man who actually did commit a serious violent crime) I can’t stand it. The frustration he must feel, the loneliness and isolation that must be 10 times what I feel, it’s overwhelming.
“You have 60 seconds remaining” the chipper recording of a woman’s voice reminds us that our time is nearly up. What do you say in the last minute of the only 15 minutes you get to talk to your precious loved one in 3 days?
Me: “I love you. Be brave. I’m praying for you. Sleep well tonight. I miss you.”
“You have 30 seconds”
“You’re my person. I love you. God will bring me home soon” he says. -Click- … Silence